Rain rain go away

The rain came as light showers that adorned the sky. It was like Christmas lights at the start of September. And just like how we see the start of a spectacular light show leading to the main event, the light showers turn into a full blown storm like the star of the show that it is. Amazing as nature may be, for me it just brings devastation. I have seen it coming, and as expected the devastation started inside me.

The constant rain will not go away easily. It will enjoy the season because it’s his. It will embrace the heat when the morning comes. It will receive well the droplets of water that it brings. So that when it is full to the brim, it will release everything like a child high on sugar leaving everyone drenched. And…the rain does not play alone, it’s accompanied by the cold wind slowly travelling from the north pole. It signals the change in atmosphere and along with it, a change in me. From the light sniffles I get from the cold wind, to the dry air that tickles my throat…the sudden unfamiliarity chokes me. I can’t breathe and next thing I know I am fighting to survive this.

Breathing in, I inhale all the things I want to forget. Breathing out, I exhale all those things out in to the world wanting catharsis. But it’s not easy because I need to keep breathing and every time I do, everything comes back like the pain from that last heartbreak you can’t move on from.

But like all things, the rainy season will end too. As it ends, I hope that it takes all the bad things too. As for now, I wait for the rain to go away just to come back another day.

One day

One day I will find love
And not the kind who will love me despite my shortcomings
Not even the kind who will love me and accept all my flaws.
I want the kind of love who will look at me
And list all the great things that he can see…

Like how I am great at laughing, even at lame jokes…
Like how my skin looks radiant without make up on…
Like how unique my mind works even when I am like a dork
Like how I can’t ride bikes, but never backs down on long walks
Like how I can’t drive but is the best passenger
Like how I fangirl over BTS … Period (.)

The list will go on, so I hope to find love…a love who will find me beautiful and amazing.

You are beautiful, I say

You are beautiful, I say.

I say this because your eyes let me see your chaste soul.
I say this because your nose breathes in fresh perspectives.
I say this because your lips say the purest thoughts.
I say this because your ears listen even to the darkest stories.
I say this because your touch assures me of the gentlest comfort.

I say all these things because I know you.
I know that you are beautiful no matter what other people say.

Maganda Ako

Maganda ako…
Sabi ng nanay ko…

Sinabi nya yun ng walang pagaalinlangan dahil sa kanyang mga mata, ako na mula sa kanya ang pinakamaganda.

Sinabi nya yun ng buo ang pagtitiwala na ang kagandahan ko ay hindi lamang sa panlabas na anyo kundi hangang sa kaibuturan.

Sinabi nya yun dahil siya mismo ang humulma sa bawat sulok ng pagkatao na mayroon ako.

Sinabi nya yun…

At tulad nya,
ako rin ay naniniwala na maganda ako.

For my sake

For my sake,
call me one last time.
Let me hear your voice again.
Tell me that it will be alright.
Tell me that things will be fine;
That I can sleep sound tonight
knowing that you had thought of me
One last time.

For my sake,
kiss me again like how you used to,
urgent like it would be the last time.
Kiss me like how you’ve always wanted to,
but never did.
Kiss me once, twice, thrice;
As much as you can
in this limited time.

For my sake,
leave without going back.
No calls, no messages…
No ‘how are you doing?’
‘I’ve missed you.’.
Leave and mean it!
Because for my sake,
I need you to let go of me,
finally, this time.