Parkour defined

Parkour. It’s a philosophy. It’s a way of life. It’s movement. It’s efficiency. But what is it really? Well it is all that and more. I can’t tell you since I’m not a traceur and I could probably commit mistakes that could get me into a lot of trouble. But I can try, right?

So here goes nothing.

Parkour is the callus I feel when I used to hold his hand. It is the eye rolling I did when he sees high walls. It was me shouting ‘I’m not with him!’ when he jumps everywhere. It is the cold clammy feeling when I hold railings just so I can try what he was doing. It was the delight I felt when I was able to jump across the low bar and I say, “oh my, I’m doing parkour”. It was the twinkle in his eyes saying “I’m so happy you did it, we are now getting on the same page”. It was me holding a video camera just to capture the ‘awesome’ stunt he does. It was the soiled pants he usually wears on Sundays. It was the annoyance I felt whenever he would jump off crazy stairs. It was my fear that he might injure himself. It was the dirty hands he kept off my face after he worked out. It’s the sweat trickling down his face that I taste as we kiss. It is the new shirts he would wear, one size smaller. It was the question, “is that okay for you?”. It was a test of my character, I admit. It was his dream to do it, but didn’t push thru. It was something I can’t do anything about, but to support.

At one point, it was everything to him.

It became mine too, at one point…as he was my everything.

But parkour, like everything else he did, had to sit back and relax. Until finally, one day forgotten.

He found different things to focus on. He found something he was better at. He found something he was more passionate about.

But I would always see that twinkle in his eyes, so I know that it’s alright. He is happy. Parkour may be gone, but he is still happy.

Now I sit back and relax. I haven’t seen him for quite some time. But I wish he still has that twinkle in his eyes. That even though my one day had happened already, he stays happy.

Sa UST hindi ko siya nakilala.

** I wrote this a few months back, it was never published in the UST site so I decided to put it here. It’s in taglish for now, but I will write an English version one of these days.

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A few years back after I graduated, nakilala ko siya. Sa usual na paraan, sa common friend. That time, he was studying to be a lawyer at UST and I was already working. Classmate siya ng friend ko kaya kami nagkakilala.

Facts:

Parehong sa UST kami nag-aaral

Magkabatch kami

MagkaFaculty kami

MagkaBuilding pa

Minsan magkasunod pa kami sa room na ginagamit, so malamang nagaantay siya sa labas ng pintuan ng Room103 habang naglelecture pa si Sir Dalangin samin.

Pero never ko siya nakilala nun. Yes baka dahil marami naman kasing tao sa UST. Sa AB pa lang grabe na. So pwede nga na hindi kami magkakilala nung time na yun. Pero what are the odds that I would meet him months after graduation? Parang pinilit ng tadhana.

Sabi ko sa kanya parang pelikula yung story natin ha. Biruin mo, we were maybe at arm’s length. Nagkasalubong na marahil. Malamang isa sya sa mga nakikipagsiksikan kapag dismissal na, pwede na nabunggo na niya ko sa hagdanan.

Nung naging kami, ang lagi kong tanong, “nasan ka nung paskuhan nung ___ year?” o di kaya, “naging professor mo ba si _____?” or kung “kilala mo si ______?”. Andaming tanong na minsan nga naisip ko, bakit kaya di tayo pinagtagpo nung panahon na yun? We could have started early on with this relationship. Pero hindi eh.

Years later, eto ko ngayon. Facing the hardest breakup ever. Sabi niya di kami pwede kasi hindi pareho ang goals namin in life.

Oo, tama siya.

Pero kahit tama siya masakit pa rin. Pero kung iisipin ko mabuti, panu kaya when we met early on, at nagtapos kami sa dahilang binigay niya sakin ngayon? Baka di ko masabing tama siya. Baka galit lang ang maramdaman ko. Kasi kung noon pa yun nung bata kami, di ko maiintindihan ang nangyayari ngayon. Di ko maappreciate bakit niya ito ginawa. Di ko matatanggap basta basta.

Buti na lang, late na kami nagkatagpo.

Buti na lang sa UST di ko siya nakilala.